A graduate nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls housekeeping.
A graduate nurse wears so many pins on their name badge that you can't read it.
An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge (or turns it around) for liability reasons.
A graduate nurse charts too much.
An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.
A graduate nurse loves to run codes.
An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.
A graduate nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.
A graduate nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad of paper.
An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper towels, bed linens, etc.
A graduate nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart that the patient is disoriented, then restrain them.
A graduate nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.
An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.
A graduate nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
An experienced nurse has the CNA do the bath.
A graduate nurse thinks people respect nurses.
An experienced nurse knows that everyone blames everything on the nurse.
A graduate nurse looks for blood on a dressing in hopes that they can change it.
An experienced nurse knows that a little blood never hurt anyone.
A graduate nurse looks for a chance to "work with the family".
An experienced nurse avoids the family.
A graduate nurse always answers their phone.
An experienced nurse always checks their caller ID before answering.
A graduate nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.
A graduate nurse carries reference books in their bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and Advil (or Tylenol) in their bag.
A graduate nurse doesn't find this funny.
An experienced nurse does.
Remember, this is all in fun and not meant to offend. I think it's funny, and find more truths than I care to admit. I hope at least ONE of you chuckled when you read it. Have a great weekend. As for me, I'll be at work wearing my name badge backwards, avoiding families, writing on paper towels, thinking psych patients are crazy, taking Advil, and getting my money's worth out of my caller ID!