The Handbook - Part I

This will be the first of several posts I will make that are based on this book. Its publication date is 1986, which is when I bought it. Some of the "jokes" in it are quite politically incorrect for this day and time, so I will obviously avoid those. In case you can't read the cover well, it's called The Unofficial Nurse's Handbook by Nina Schroeder, RN.

The first topic I will tackle is that of "How to Tell Doctors From Nurses".

Seems pretty straightforward, but with more women in medicine and more men in nursing, it's not so easy anymore. The following guidelines should help you to "de-blur" the lines.

Docs: Show concern with your hospital insurance coverage.
Nurses: Show concern for your hospital comfort.

Docs: Will leave you a written note or prescription.
Nurses: Will decipher the doc’s hieroglyphics for you.

Docs: Admit patients to the hospital.
Nurses: Can actually find the patient once they are admitted.

Docs: Wear Rolex watches, and vacation in Europe and other exotic places.
Nurses: Wear Timex watches and vacation in the lower 48 (Alaska & Hawaii are too expensive).

Docs: Carry pagers so that if they’re needed, they’ll be present.
Nurses: Are omnipresent.

Docs: Are never in their office on Wednesdays.
Nurses: Explain to disgruntled patients why the doctor’s not in on Wednesdays.

Docs: Misplace charts.
Nurses: Take the blame.

Now, the disclaimer: This is all meant to be in fun. I hope it's taken that way! I'm sure that you can think of some other ways to tell the difference - feel free to leave them as comments!

The next lesson from The Handbook will be "What to do on Your Break". Be thinking about what you actually do on your breaks, so that you'll be able to compare with what's recommended in the lesson!

Have a great week!

~RWS